SINGLE TO MARRIED

Let's get to the part nobody really taught us.

How to move from searching, to meeting, to actually getting to know someone, and develop the relational skills that help two people build something healthy when there's something worth building.

You want someone to share your life with.

A companion. A partner. Someone to build a life alongside. And that's why I created Single to Married.

Because we spend an enormous amount of time talking about how to find someone.

The apps. The introductions. The marriage events. The questions to ask. The red flags to look for.

All important. But finding each other is only the beginning.

What happens when you actually meet him?

How do you connect rather than interview?

Stay yourself when you really like him?

Know what to ask — and what to notice?

Navigate attraction, uncertainty and difference?

Work out whether this is actually going somewhere?

And, if it is, how do the two of you begin building something healthy together?

That's the part I want to help you with.

Because you don't want to simply survive a marriage. You want to flourish in one.

“I attended Single to Married as a last resort. I remember leaving and thinking, if I'd known this before, would I have been married by now? Then I thought, actually, no. I probably would have ended up getting divorced because I didn't know what I needed. I thought I knew what I wanted. Exactly one year later, I got married. And I know it was exactly a year because, on my way to the masjid, a memory popped up on my phone. It was a photo I'd taken of the room we were in for Single to Married.”

~Previous participant

WHILE YOU'RE WAITING TO MEET HIM

How do you keep going when it's taking much longer than you thought?

How do you know what you actually want when everybody seems to have an opinion?

How do you stop every introduction carrying the pressure of “please let this be the one”?

And what have you picked up about love, relationships and marriage that might be coming into the search with you?

So when someone does come along, years of pressure don't have to sit at the table with you.

WHEN YOU MEET HIM

How do you actually get to know him without making it feel like an interview?

How do you stay yourself when you really like him?

What should you be asking, and what should you be noticing?

You have chemistry. But would you actually work?

Is that a red flag, a difference, or something you simply need to ask him about?

And how do you know whether his words, values and actions are telling you the same story?

So you're not just trying to work out whether he likes you. You're discovering what the two of you are actually like together.

“Every meeting I went to, I had my mum's, dad's, siblings' and friends' words in my head.

I didn't know who I was. I interrogated rather than conversed, and I was never able to get to a second meeting.

Single to Married taught me how to approach relationships in a warmer way and how to be me wholeheartedly.

I feel more confident about the conversations I'll have when someone comes along.”

~ Previous participant

WHEN YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT MARRIAGE

How do you move from “we like each other” to talking honestly about a life together?

What do you really need to talk about before you say yes?

How do you talk about faith, family, money, roles, expectations and the future?

What happens when you disagree?

Can you repair after getting something wrong?

And can you begin making room for him without losing yourself?

Because finding him is one part of the story.

Learning how to build a life together is another.

You can read the books. Listen to the podcasts. Save the Instagram posts.

Join the apps, WhatsApp groups and marriage events.

Those places might introduce you. The relationship begins with what happens between you afterwards.

That's why you won't spend Single to Married simply listening to me talk.

You'll practise.

You'll talk. Listen. Ask. Respond. Encounter different perspectives.

And you'll get to notice yourself while you're doing it. Maybe you overthink. Interrogate instead of converse.

Perform instead of connect. Dismiss too quickly. Hold on too long. Or become so focused on whether someone is choosing you that you forget you're getting to know him too.

None of this explains why you're single.

But understanding how you relate can change what you bring to your next conversation — and eventually, to a marriage.

“I put what I'd learnt into practice when I matched with someone online. I started having better, deeper conversations and raising important topics earlier, with more clarity and confidence.”

~ Previous participant